I love my boyfriend: A letter from a Transpartner
Really I do. And I will continue to do so. This has been a process. A moment and time period of growth that I thank the universe for. I wont lie, I had complicated politics regarding transpeople when we first met. And up until he told me he wanted to transition and even a little after, i still was conflicted. Then like a lightning bolt it hit me: Who am I to make ANYONE feel any type of way about what they want to do with THEIR body? And further more as a queer person and as a person of color who has experienced so much discrimination and isolation, why would i impart that on anyone else? Esp someone that i love. And from that moment I didnt just decide to accept him, but to support and love him more than anyone else in this world does. Why? Because he deserves it. And he supports me. Not just in all my dreams and aspirations, fears and crazy theories, but with his transition as well. he checks in on me to see how I am adjusting to his changes, and everytime he does, it shows me that he appreciates and loves me. And thats all i want.
I wrote this hoping that some other spouse of a transperson will see this and see that you are not alone. You are going through a transition too. You see the aspects and realness of a person transitioning that most people would never understand. I’m sure you have gotten side looks and ignorant comments from friends and haters as i have, and my word of advice is to just meet that ignorance with quick and swift education. Every oppurtunity is not a place to recite all you know about transrights and politics, however, you can decide not to add to ignorance and continue to respect your partner despite their presence or not.
Dear Sebastian, I love you and appreciate you. Thank you so much for opening my eyes to a world of people and love I would have never had the knowledge to understand. Because of you, you have liberated my sexuality and identity from social constraints and for that I am forever thankful. To you and all the sexy transpeople out there: WE LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU!!! And to all the Transpartners out there: Continue to give them your love and support. Find community in and with other transpartners, me included.
Your lovie, Wifey, Partner in Crime